The myth of “constructive advice” at VisaJourney

The reality is, any time there’s a discussion board dealing with relationships, there are going to be some people who say, “You’re beyond redemption; you deserve to be incel.” If they don’t say it directly, they’ll say it indirectly, by giving bad advice. For example, they kept saying that I might not be able to enter the Philippines. I actually had no problem. What they meant was that I shouldn’t enter the Philippines, but they couldn’t say so outright because that wouldn’t be constructive.

If they purposefully give you bad advice, or blame you for stuff when the circumstances are ambiguous or subjective, that’s just another way of saying, “I don’t like you and don’t want you to succeed.”

If you take the bad advice and it turns out badly, then they will blame you for being the reason for the failure, since allegedly others could have taken the same advice and it would’ve turned out well. Or they’ll say that the failure of the advice to produce the results you wanted actually proves them correct; e.g. if they say, “Live with your wife in the Philippines for a couple years before coming to the U.S.” and she balks, they’ll say, “See, that proves she doesn’t love you” when in reality no chick really wants to live in the grinding poverty of the Phils. So yeah, in that respect, it’s true that love isn’t the prime motivator of chicks; but it would be the same way with all chicks, since they’re opportunistic in love. AWALT.

But if you don’t take their bad advice, then they blame any failure you have on your unwillingness to take their advice.

Sometimes they’ll give advice that is going to cause you to incur a penalty — e.g. “don’t marry” means you have to stay incel, or “don’t go on an international trip with this girl while she has a domestic violence charge pending, because she might not be allowed back into the country” means you’ll miss out on the trip. They’re acting like they’re just trying to keep you safe, but they’re actually wanting to make you suffer.

What does it mean for a thread to go to shit?

Moderators sometimes talk about how a thread has gone to shit. What I think that usually means is that it’s basically turned into civil disobedience, where everyone is breaking the rules because they see others breaking the rules and realize they can get away with it, because there can’t be a punishment of everyone.

However, over at VisaJourney, what happened was that when the mod closed the thread, she didn’t say the thread had gone to shit; she said that I had been the one who “continually” didn’t take people’s advice. So she blamed it on me, and she said there was nothing more to say. I didn’t really see it that way. If there was nothing left to say, then why close the thread? That suggests there was more to say, but she didn’t want it said.

The PowerTalk possibility

Another way of looking at that VisaJourney convo is that a lot of the responses may have just been a bunch of PowerTalk. We know that foids, once they reach a certain age, are always going to take wives’ side against husbands (because they want to attract beta men to wife them up, or to play the role of orbiters to potentially wife them up later), and that beta men will play the white knight by taking wives’ side in order to attract foids who are looking for a beta to wife them up. So, that could’ve been what was going on.

Why did they cut short the convo? Because StraightTalk would’ve overcome PowerTalk, if the convo had been allowed to continue. (If the convo continues, then eventually you get to the bottom of what’s going on, unless the convo has really gone to shit in a way that’s just going to keep escalating; but why would that be the case?)

Anyway, it’s just another reason to hate them. And the moderator might say, “The purpose of VisaJourney is to give advice about the visa process, not debate relationship issues” but the majority of the convo was people trying to shame me over relationship issues rather than give advice about the visa process, so that’s a double standard.

The “warnings not to marry”

So over at VisaJourney, they wrote:

perhaps you should have taken everyone elses advice. i guess she was really in love with you and didnt care at all about the greencard:/

Also:

You aren’t taking in any of the advise given, but keep going back to statistics which have nothing to do with you.

Also:

You don’t know what you are doing. You were warned not to marry her. You don’t have a clue.

Also:

Exactly, you signed up for this even after everyone warned you not to marry her.

Also:

Why should anyone feel sorry for you? You didn’t get enough warnings not to marry?

Also:

The same people telling you to contest restraining order are same one who told u not to marry in 2014. Maybe, they smart and know things better than u.

(By the way, I don’t know that it was the same individuals giving both advice; the two threads mostly had different participants.) Also:

Bring an immigrant wife to US and expect her to go to work or start a business to support you while you no work is lack common sense. People warned you and you ignored them.

Also:

I see people tell u not to marry her.

Also:

~~After review of this thread it will remain locked. Members have continually given you advice you have ignored there is nothing alse that can be said that hasn’t. This thread is not to be restarted in any form.~~

The thing is, the advice from 2014 didn’t really impart any red pill knowledge or wisdom. They said nothing about the alpha fuxx/beta buxx feminine imperative (which means that a girl is unlikely to stay with you just because she loves your personality, without you giving her money, unless you’re Chad), for instance, or how non-virgins tend to be more disloyal, or how there’s no such thing as relationship equity, or about Facebookers.

The nonexistence of relationship equity means that you need to have ongoing relevance

When men get criticized harshly on VisaJourney, it’s usually because they weren’t devoting themselves fully to putting a woman’s interests first, or they were demanding something in return for what they had done or, worse, what they had done in the past. At the very least, to get ANY respect from women, men need to have ongoing relevance — they need to be contributing something in the present. A woman’s interest in a non-Chad isn’t even about “what have you done for me lately”; it’s about “what are you going to do for me now and in the future?”

By the way, back in 2014 they weren’t really “warning me not to marry”

If you look at the posts, they were expressing some doubts, suggestions, etc. but they didn’t straight-up warn me not to marry. They were just saying there was some stuff to consider, and some possibilities that might be worth exploring.

But let’s suppose, for the sake of argument, they did give me a warning and the warning was right. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day, so who’s to say that means they’re going to be right about other stuff? I see inaccurate and questionable stuff on there all the time.

I don’t recall being warned that if I married Meshelle, there might be a false rape allegation

They might have said the marriage would be a “train wreck” but I they didn’t really say it could end QUITE that catastrophically.

Another U.S. citizen husband-sponsor gets verbally abused over at VisaJourney

The OP writes:

Hello Everyone!

I dont know where to start…. Pretty embarrassing but now I need some guidance. Last month I have done something terrible, here how the story goes…

I filed Domestic Violence on my wife which she undergoing for adjustment of status. Poor women didn’t do anything wrong, yes I know all of you are asking “what the heck?’’. Well I was drinking that night celebrating my nephew graduation party and had too many. During that night my wonderful wife drove us home. Once we got home we realized that there wasn’t any electricity, so my wife didn’t wanted to be there because of the care of the baby. So I disagree and was very upset that we couldn’t stay at home. While we were walking out, my wife tripped over the baby stroller. When that was happening she tried to grab me and scratch me accidently from neck and face….ughhhh…. I got furious and espcially when I was soo mad about the arguement, I made a poor decision calling the cops and they took her away (arrested and fingerprinted)… I especially told the cops dont arrest her that wasnt the attention, just file a report… either way both decision where wrong…

We had court on August 15th, 2018, I have already spoke with the director of the municipal court and explain the whole situation. The state is willing to drop the case but needed to be present. Well something at work came up, and coudn’t be present at the court. So they reschedule it for October 16th 2018, which isnt my concern….

My big concern is we are flying out to Dominican Republic with a Advance Polore, Im afraid when we come back she going to have trouble with customs. My question is to everyone, will she go back to her country because of that? The only argument I have she still not convicted of any crime, those charges are still pending. She never plead guilty to the judge, On october I will be in court and drop the charges.

Please dont judge me of that, the only thing I just want is some guidance……

debbiedoo responds:

its more than you being a cry baby. all men are cry babies to a certain extent.

you have possibly destroyed chances for your wifes AOS. really? cause you were were being a drunken asswipe. NO EXCUSE. and then you couldnt attend the fit court date? REALLY? what is more important than your WIFE. you LIED TO THE COPS ABOUT THE SITUATiON.

Sorry excuse for a man.

dont travel. its not worth the possible problems. though if i were your wife id be leaving you, so theres that.

i was married for 20 years to an abusive gaslighting ####### of a human being. He would have done something like that, if he were a drinker. of all his issues, at least that wasn’t one of them. seek help. and if you dont think you need help, you have a MAJOR problem.

I went ahead and filed a report saying that she is verbally abusing the OP. I expect if there’s a female mod, like Ontarkie, handling the reports, then probably the post will remain, because that’s how they typically roll. Anyway, now I see I’m not the only one who gets harshly judged by the whole circle of foids, manginas, white knights, etc. over there. debbiedoo, by the way, has “Very Good” community reputation over there. Not sure how to give someone negative rep.

Anyway, if that post stays up, then I would say, it’s over for VisaJourney. That can’t keep that kind of content up and retain any credibility. debbiedoo is from Chase City, Virginia, by the way.

UPDATE: They took the post down.