The incel’s guide to pedophilia

  1. stranger_danger-727x485Start hanging around the school playgrounds after school. Hand out candy. The kids will respect you for it and with the right amount of coercion they’ll be more than happy to take a ride in your car. If they start to scream, don’t worry, they’ll calm down.
  2. Play games with kids you meet on the corner. One of my personal fav’s is the old “tease the snake that lives in my shorts” game. That gets ’em every time.
  3. Hang out at bus shelters. Kids really like it when you sit down next to them, wet yourself and laugh maniacally. They’ll be sure to accept your offer to come over to your house. If they don’t, don’t worry, they’re just playing hard to get and will like it when you force them to come.
  4. Go out with the kid’s mom. If she’s old, divorced and horny then you’re in luck. She’ll be so scared of losing her last chance that she won’t listen to her daughter’s claims that you gave her a spanking butt naked screaming in ecstasy even when she hadn’t done anything.
  5. Be really forward with them. They really like when you tell them that you love them and decide to prove it by standing outside their bedroom window all night screaming their name and how you’re going to kill them.
  6. Become a school guidance counselor. When kids come to you with their problems, you can “comfort” them. They won’t tell. Make sure you make it clear to her that if she does no one will believe her and if they do you’ll go over to her house and boil her bunny wabbit.
  7. If you’re over 50 then you’re in luck! 15 year old girls love older men. Especially when you touch them a lot.
  8. Be the “cool teacher” at school. You know, the one who lets everyone smoke and drink and never tells. They’ll like you so much that they’ll accept your frequent invitations to come over to your house and then you can play a quick game of slap and tickle. They won’t tell on you because they’ll think it’s their fault.
  9. Go for really little kids. You can find them at the shopping mall. If you’re lucky, then they’ll be lost and screaming for their mommies. Or even better, they might be so young that they can’t do anything but moan and pout and that won’t hold up in court.
  10. Become a child psychologist. Maybe you’ll find a kid who’s already been molested. That way she’ll already be broken in. Encourage her to talk about her experience and then act it out in a kinky role-playing adventure. You’ll really be helping her get over her problems so you don’t have to feel guilty.

Common pedocel arguments

Some people were asking, “Why are there so many pedocels?” Probably because of these types of thought processes:

  • What’s my incentive to oppose pedophilic sex? — “I don’t have any kids, so I don’t need to worry about my 7-year-old daughter getting banged out. Nor do I need to worry that this generation of 7-year-old girls, if they get banged out by some adult today, won’t be relationship material for me later. They were going to choose Chad over me anyway, once they hit puberty, and then get wifed up by some beta; so it’s irrelevant to me what kind of damage happens to them now, since I’m not the one who will get to partake of them when they hit the JB stage, or end up as the hubby who has to deal with any of their psychological problems from what happened to them as a kid.”
  • What do I have to lose by supporting pedophilic sex? — “I’m already looked down upon for being incel, so what do I have to lose by also being a pedophile? I don’t need to worry that expressing my desire to bang little kids is going to make me lose friends, employment opportunities, or dating prospects, because I’m already a sexless, friendless NEET. Even if I were to go to prison, it wouldn’t really matter, because it’s not like I have a wife and family whom I’d be separated from, and who would be left in the lurch by my absence.”
  • Just be first — “I have to swoop in and bang her out before Chad has a chance to, if I want her to pair-bond with me. But since a lot of girls are getting banged out by Chad as soon as they hit puberty, that means I have to get them BEFORE they hit puberty.”
  • Chad and Stacy deserve to be punished by having their kids gets molested by incels — “That’ll teach Chad for sexually disenfranchising us, by hogging all the prime virginal girls instead of leaving some for sub-8 men. That’ll teach Stacy for opening her legs to Chad instead of us.”
  • I have no other sexual opportunities — “How else am I supposed to get laid, unless I overpower some child who’s too small and weak to resist, or too young to be able to form complete sentences like, ‘Help, I’ve been raped’? If society didn’t want me to do that, they should’ve me some other sexual opportunities besides kids.”
  • Prepubescent girls are so much nicer than pubescent girls — “As soon as girls hit puberty, they start wanting to bang Chad while stringing along a bunch of betas as orbiters. But prepubescent girls have no need for Chad’s sperm yet; they only seek provisioning (of Barbies and fruit snacks) from a nice beta. That could be me!”
  • I already took the blackpill, so why not take the pedopill too? — “Society lied about the nature of females, so maybe they’re also lying when they say that pedophilic sex is harmful to kids.”
  • Trying to save girls from being ruined by pedophiles is just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic — “Those girls are going to become sluts anyway, so even if you save them from being defiled till they hit puberty, they’re going to get defiled at that point anyway by Chad, and the outcome will be pretty much the same. I may as well enjoy the decline of civilization, since I can’t put a stop to it.”
  • Since I know these 7-year-old girls are going to become sluts when they get older, I may as well punish them in advance by raping them now — “In Minority Report, it was acceptable to punish people if you knew they were going to commit crimes in the future. We pretty much know these girls are going to behave immorally once they hit puberty, so why not go ahead and exact retribution at the earliest opportunity?”
  • I don’t believe in female consent anyway, so the argument “7-year-old girls are too young to consent” is meaningless to me — “As a patriarchist, I believe it’s okay to rape femoids, so why would I care if someone says, ‘If you have sex with an underage girl, that’s rape’? That argument only matters to people who think rape is wrong.”
  • It’s natural selection — “Society says, if you’re too ugly to get pussy, that’s just Darwinism in action. Well, it’s also Darwinism in action if you leave your kid unattended in your front lawn at the moment when I drive by in my van offering free popsicles.”
  • Ageism is just another form of lookism — “Society has no problem with a little boy messing around with a little girl, because they think that’s cute; but if some ugly older dude like me messes around with their kid, they think that’s bad, because it’s not as cute. That’s discrimination! My right to the equal protection of the law has been violated.”
  • It’s necessary to kidnap and rape the children in order to save them — “Modern foids are miserable because of the poor decisions they’re allowed to make, in pursuing careers and chasing after Chad. They need to be under the authority of a man who will take sexual possession of them and start a family with them. For the good of the kids, it’s up to me to be the next Josef Fritzl.”
  • Children are an increasingly scarce commodity — “The fertility rate in developed countries is 1.5. Someday, there won’t be any kids left. I better sexually enjoy them while there’s still time.”
  • If girls weren’t meant to be fucked at age 7, they wouldn’t have asses and mouths that can accommodate my cock — “Just because her pussy isn’t ready, doesn’t mean her other orifi aren’t.”