My answer to BuiQuang

He writes:

Why should anyone feel sorry for you?

Because anyone could be next. We have to join together in pushing back against the practice of making false rape accusations (marital rape being, in all cases, a false accusation, by the way, since there’s no such thing as marital rape). Otherwise, femoids will just get more and more out of control with their tendency to make false accusations, and it’s going to affect all of us.

Even Chad might have to worry that some of his beta offspring could get victimized by femoids. BuiQuang also writes:

You didn’t get enough warnings not to marry?

We went over earlier the question of whether I was really warned not to marry; but even if the first line of defense is not to marry in this type of situation, it doesn’t hurt to have a second line of defense. Women should not be rewarded for making false accusations, because it’s just going to encourage the making of more false accusations. Meshelle will be encouraged by this to make false accusations against other men, and other women who hear about the case will be encouraged to make false accusations as well. As a cultural norm of making false accusations takes root, we end up with, e.g., the kind of accusations we’re seeing against Brett Kavanaugh. It ends up affecting everyone.

You both used each other and you lost. Too bad, so sad for you. Obviously, you the victim. You did not plan to hold green card over her head to gain control. You the good guy.

Is there something wrong with holding the green card over her head to gain control? Isn’t she my property, to do with as I want? He also writes:

Also, as her husband, you are obligated morally and legally to support her. Giving her room and board and all her basic necessities was not generosity or holding up a deal. It’s your legal obligation. Also, I don’t know any couple who makes a deal for room and board. You have no idea what a marriage is. You only wanted to use this woman to be a breadwinner while you stay at home and not work as posted in posts from 2014.

Isn’t it my moral right to make whatever deal I want with my wife, and even force her into slavery to support the family, if I want? Isn’t marriage about making a woman my property, and exercising absolute power over her, and treating her however I like, and doing whatever I want with her? As a husband, isn’t it my role to make those types of decisions as I see fit?

The affidavit of support says that I’m supposed to support my wife. That could include having her support herself and the rest of the family; I would just be delegating the support responsibility to her. If the state interferes with my patriarchal prerogatives and allows her to leave, that’s the state’s fault.

How is he going to be a traditionalist, and yet also support divorce? If he says that the man has a moral obligation to work, then why is he not also saying that the couple has a moral obligation to stay together rather than divorcing?

How is the affidavit of support morally binding?

BuiQuang writes:

Also, as her husband, you are obligated morally and legally to support her. Giving her room and board and all her basic necessities was not generosity or holding up a deal. It’s your legal obligation. Also, I don’t know any couple who makes a deal for room and board. You have no idea what a marriage is. You only wanted to use this woman to be a breadwinner while you stay at home and not work as posted in posts from 2014.

Yeah, it may not have been clear enough from the thread that Meshelle said many, many times that she was okay with being the breadwinner. But it often happens that people make judgmental comments, based on erroneous assumptions, in relationship-related threads.

Anyway, if he’s talking about my moral obligation to do what I promised in the affidavit of support, what about all the money that the state took from me, which wasn’t pursuant to any agreement?

Also, if he’s talking about my obligation under natural law to provide for my wife, or saying that it’s the nature of marriage that men trade money for sex, what about the obligation of the woman to present herself as a virgin bride, or to stay with her husband; if we’re going to be traditionalist, aren’t I entitled to have such expectations, in return for making sure Meshelle’s needs were taken care of? Meshelle was, after all, being provided for, so as I told BuiQuang, my end of the “obligation” (both to Meshelle and to the government) was being upheld. Meshelle just left because she didn’t like living with my mom.

Yeah, I think there was an understanding between Meshelle and I that if she wanted to move up in the world and have a nicer place, she was potentially going to need to be the breadwinner because my income wasn’t guaranteed. VisaJourney may not have realized she was aware of the consequences of the felony, and what it would mean. The fact remains, though, that I did everything I was supposed to under both the Affidavit of Support and any other promise I made to Meshelle or her dad.

Of course, Meshelle could rip my family off now by filing a lawsuit, but people say she probably won’t. That’s not typically the Filipina way. She’ll probably just go away and live her life on her own, now that she has that divorce decree in hand. It does suck that, to get into this marriage, I got divorced from Augustine and therefore lost the rights of a widower; but whatever. Nobody cares.

It would’ve been nice if some of Augustine’s vids, etc. had survived, but oh well. Elsewhere:

You both used each other and you lost. Too bad, so sad for you. Obviously, you the victim. You did not plan to hold green card over her head to gain control. You the good guy.

Isn’t that why conditions on residency exist — so that the U.S. citizen spouse has some slight measure of control over whether he gets fucked over? Otherwise, what is the point? The whole idea is to make sure that the marriage isn’t fraudulent; e.g. they might look askance at the situation if, for example, she left as soon as she got her green card, and didn’t claim abuse.

But another question that arises is, why should ANY American man marry a foreign girl, and sign the Affidavit of Support, unless she’s a virginal bride? What assurance does he have that she’s not going to just leave him for another man, or whatever, once she has her green card, and fuck him over? Why WOULDN’T she; if she wasn’t virginal, then how was he in any way special to her? There was this other post:

No, marriage is not about using each other for our own desires. It’s love to share. Share require compromise. U think marriage about using each other then u will never be happy.

If marriage isn’t about a trade of money for sex, then why do wives insist on getting financial support in exchange for putting out, or else feel ripped off? Also, love is about a lack of other options. If she wasn’t a virginal bride, then how does she lack other options, given that there’s nothing particularly special to her about the man she married? These betabuxx marriages tend to be pretty mercenary from the female point of view; she is not loving her betabuxx the way she loved (and still loves) Chad.