Letter to Drake, 2018.11.20

20 November 2018

S’up, Drake.

So I notice, the reason you’re back in prison is because of Facebook. Isn’t that always the way? Facebook is like the monkey’s paw. It seems like it opens the doors to getting your wishes granted, but the price is great.

Now you might say, “Yeah, but I can’t avoid using Facebook.” Well, that also means you can’t avoid the downsides of Facebook, and they are many. I felt the same way, that I couldn’t get away from Facebook because there weren’t really any good alternatives. Eventually, though, I realized it was toxic.

Yeah, your aunt was the direct cause of these current problems, but Facebook facilitated it. In that respect, it’s kinda like my sister’s advice. My sister has indirectly fucked over many people with her advice. Heck, maybe even my incarceration resulted indirectly from following her advice to come to Colorado, because I ended up in an unsustainable financial situation that led to my lashing out against the government, since they were the cause of the 2008 financial crisis (which was referenced in my threat against the President).

Another example would be, she told Augustine she should leave me; and Augustine ended up doing just that, going back to Colorado, getting her kid taken away from her, and committing suicide. That would not have happened if she’d stayed in Virginia, where we have a less interventionist CPS system.

Another example would be, she recommended to my mom that she have an affair. Taking that advice, my mom went on Facebook and got involved with a romance scammer who got $12,000 from her. (Yeah, that’s also another example of how people have gotten fucked over from their involvement in Facebook.)

One might say, “I can manage the risks/downsides of Facebook.” I disagree, because that goes against everything I’ve seen in the lives of those who have had involvement with it, but whatever. Facebookers gonna Facebook.

I told my sister, she should quit giving people advice because it’s fucking them over, and she of course got offended. Oh well, it needed to be said. She will continue to give advice, because she believes that’s her main purpose in life.

As for me, I’m not sure I have a purpose anymore, other than maybe to crash and burn even worse than I already have. My daughter is my main reason for living, even though my ability to directly help her is deferred till later. It’s possible that her adoptive parents would just prefer that I not exist at this point.

My mom has pretty much shut down my activist activities, partly by starving me of funds. It’s just hard to get any money out of her, and it’s never more than $20 at a time. Gone are the days when I used to get $100 every two weeks. She just has a shittier attitude toward me than in the past, which may be partly because our financial situation is not as good as it was when we got $1,000/month for taking care of my grandmother, but probably is also because she hates all men now, because that romance scammer took that money from her. She generalizes to regard all men now as potential scammers.

Well, the sense in which that guy was a scammer was that he made up a bunch of facts about himself that weren’t true. E.g., he said he worked on an oil rig, that he was a widower with a young daughter in Ohio, that he was from Europe, etc. Actually, he’s a Nigerian who makes his living by scamming lonely middle-aged women from developed countries.

Well, I may ask for money, but I’m not a scammer. The facts I tell are actually true. But whatever; I gotta be punished because my mom followed my sister’s dumb advice and got burned by a Facebook romance scam. I also suggested my mom get off of Facebook, and even helped her defriend and block everyone, but then my sister had her undo that by making a list of people she’d blocked and then unblock and refriend all of them. So then my mom ended up meeting another Nigerian guy and getting scammed by him too.

So you see, there’s a tug-of-war between my sister and I, because Facebookers are like cult members; they want to get everyone else involved in their cult. My sister has several Facebook windows open at any given time, and of course she wants my mom to be on there. I, meanwhile, am like one of these guys who tries to deprogram former cult members and keep them away from it.

Problem is, people who leave a cult don’t find atheism all that comforting because it doesn’t offer the same support structure that they’re used to. Cults do fulfill some seemingly useful purposes, or people wouldn’t find them so attractive. It’s just a question of whether the pros actually exist (or are just illusory) and whether they outweigh the cons.

Top Gun is on right now. Man, why would Tom Cruise want to get with that weird lesbo chick? Goose’s girlfriend (Meg Ryan) is hotter. Hollywood constantly has attractive guys chasing after chicks who really aren’t that appealing, looks or personality-wise. No wonder girls have such inflated expectations these days, although it also doesn’t help that they get dicked down by guys who are way out of their league marriage/commitmentwise, which conditions them to think they shouldn’t need to settle for a more average guy.

So I was reading, Virginia is one of the few states where juries are allowed to make sentencing decisions, if you opt for a jury trial. Some people think that’s a superior system to having a judge decide the sentence.

I had an opportunity to have my pot possession case decided by a jury, but the judge talked me out of it, saying that juries aren’t much more lenient or sympathetic to defendants than judges, and that it would cost me $400 extra in fees if I took my case to a jury trial and lost. My lawyer, though, told me that I should’ve chosen a jury trial because they might have taken my side in seeing the search that was done as illegal, since the cop couldn’t properly identify a bag with .8 grams of weed in it from across the room.

I’ve had one jury trial in my life, and that was to decide if I would get custody of my daughter. I don’t think the jury did any worse of a job than the judge would’ve. What happens when the judge is in charge is that they act based on the same biases and prejudices as a jury, but then they come up with a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo to justify their decisions.

This gives the appearance that we’re under the rule of law, but most of it’s just intellectual dishonesty. It’s hard to expose this, though, given that to have a decent chance challenging anything in court, you have to pay out the wazoo for a lawyer, which makes it usually not worth it. Plus the appellate courts are usually pretty deferential to the trial courts.

I just wonder, if you’d been sentenced by a jury, would they have given you 12½ years. Would they have given you more than that, or less. I was recently reading:

Northern District of Ohio U.S. District Court Judge James S. Gwin polled the jury that convicted Ryan Collins for possessing 19 videos and 93 images of child pornography on his computer about what jurors thought would be an appropriate sentence for the defendant.

On average, the jurors recommended a 14-month sentence. Judge Gwin sentenced the defendant to five years, significantly less than the 20-year sentence recommended by the Government.

I personally would rather be judged by my peers, even though that didn’t end too well for Socrates. Maybe if I get to bang my daughter someday in this state, I’ll get the chance to see what jurors in this area think about incest. Hopefully they’ll be lenient.

Aside from hoping my daughter runs away from her adoptive home at some point, so the two of us can be like Steven and Katie Pladl, I don’t really have a lot of goals at this point. I’d like to start an incel forum that allows girls, but it takes a certain amount of money to do that, and like I say, I’m pretty broke. Most of the other incels who want to start forums have the same problem.

I feel like my hands are tied from accomplishing much, so at this point, I have to content myself with trying to be aware of how karma will eventually bite people and civilizations in the butt for the harmful and unjust stuff they do. Even if they never realize the error of their ways, or suffer for it, their descendants eventually will. This is how morality came to develop to begin with — because there was an evolutionary advantage to being good.

The blackpill seems to be spreading. I feel like there’s a sense that people have given up on their old pursuits and now are just waiting for something new to show up. They scan the horizon, keeping an eye out. Personally, I’m freakin’ bored, but others seem to be finding ways to stay occupied.

I’m really in much the same situation I was in back in late 2013, right after I got out of prison. I haven’t really progressed much in the last five years, except publicity-wise; but that also cut off a lot of opportunities for me, jobwise. Not that there’s much incentive to succeed in that arena these days anyway, given the quality of foids who are available as a reward.

Yeah man, the situation is as hopeless as ever. I’ll be lucky if nothing bad comes out of this current investigation that’s going on, into my computer. You know, it’s becoming more and more important to encrypt everything on all devices, and put passwords on them, because these days, the first place cops look when they’re investigating someone is through their devices to see if there are any incriminating texts, emails, etc. Even if it’s a case unrelated to computer crime or CP or anything like that, they want to look at your electronic communications to see if you were conspiring to do something, or admitted to something.

Of course, a lot of that data could also be in the cloud, but the cops would prefer to just grab your devices rather than subpoena a Silicon Valley tech company. That way, they get more immediate access and don’t have to fight in court over it. Rather, you’re the one who has to fight to try to get his devices back and suppress the fruits of any searches. This is in contrast to a subpoena situation, where you might actually hear about what they’re doing before they do it. When there’s a search warrant, you don’t find out they went to the magistrate till you get a knock on the door and are told to sit on the couch while they seize all your electronics.

But whatever. They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do. If I go to the slammer, I might still get released by the time my daughter comes of age. Hopefully by that point, I wouldn’t have any suspended sentence or supervised release hanging over my head. But you know how that goes.


20 November 2018

S’up, Drake.

Well, today’s a better day than yesterday. I’d given up on my programming project but got a second wind today and attacked it again and made some progress (I think). I haven’t tested everything yet, but the problems I’m having now are different problems than before, so that’s something. Being able to feel like I’m moving forward toward my goals has a significant impact on my level of happiness.

When we left off, I was talking about the jury system. Today, I want to talk about the implications of the jury system for probation. In Virginia, sometimes people will opt for a bench trial, and then the judge will sentence them to, e.g., 10 years in prison with 5 years suspended, which means they’ll be on probation with that time hanging over their head.

However, I think when there’s a jury trial, the jury will just recommend a sentence that the judge will typically impose without suspending any of it. The upshot of that is that if you go to trial, you’re probably not going to be on probation when you get out.

I’m pretty much against probation at this point. The whole theory behind probation is, you probably had a life of crime before you got locked up; or if you had a job and a house and all that kind of stuff, you lost it all when you got locked up, and now have to start from scratch. So they’re going to impose a bunch of restrictions and monitoring to try to guide you toward earning an honest living, and getting the treatment you need, etc.

Part of the problem is, the restrictions actually get in the way of integrating back into the community. E.g., if they say you can’t travel without approval, typically that means if there’s a family get-together announced at the last minute, you won’t be able to go, because there won’t be time to get your probation officer to approve your travel (since he has to call and verify that your story is legit). So that’s going to hinder your ability to bond with your family, and tempt you to just go ahead and violate the restrictions and see if you can get away with it.

Also, the probation officer appointments, and treatment appointments, and so on, get in the way of trying to live your life. Plus they’re going to want you to pay for that stuff, if you’re able; so that’s taking away money you could have used on fun activities that would have done more to relieve your stress and generally help your mental health. In fact, the stuff they say in treatment can be pretty infuriating, because they’re so arrogant and judgmental (even though the women who run these programs don’t necessarily have exemplary personal lives themselves; a lot of them are neurotic); so it can actually fuck up your state of mind and make you more likely to want to go back to prison just so you don’t to deal with their bullshit anymore.

Both diagnoses and treatment are mostly just a bunch of propaganda to create the appearance that they’re doing something to help you and keep society safe. Like in my case, they said my threat against the President was the result of mental illness. Or in your case, they probably say you have some kind of mental illness too. In reality, everything we did was logically-thought-out, purpose-driven behavior. But they want to discredit everything we say by saying that we’re just rationalizing our disordered behavior.

Also, the restrictions are often ineffective at actually keeping you out of trouble anyway. E.g., after I threatened the President by email, they said that I couldn’t use an email account without permission. In their view, this would prevent a series of angry emails from escalating to an illegal threat. But that wasn’t really my pattern of behavior, so their theory that would help was flawed.

Plus they said that if I associated with felons, I would go back to prison. Well, it was a probation violation that led to my going back to prison to begin with, and meeting you. And then I went back to prison for associating with you. But you never facilitated any criminal activity that I was involved in. It was people on the outside who did that. After all, you’re not the one who has access to the Vicky Series, given that you’re locked up.

And like you say, it’s pretty retarded that they threw you back in the slammer for talking to your kids. All this stuff is ridicuous and unhelpful. My guess is, if you were sentenced by a jury, maybe you could argue those points to them and they’d be receptive; because I like I say, in Virginia, when you get sentenced by a jury, you generally won’t even have probation, much less the kind of draconian conditions you’re dealing with. The judges are political animals who have to cover their asses and try to appease those who want them to be “tough on crime,” lest people give them a hard time; jurors don’t have to worry about that shit so much.

The child protective system works the same way as probation, by the way, except that you have a social worker instead of a probation officer (a lot of those social workers are former probation officers, though, because it’s basically the same job, except that you spend more time around kids), and there’s no guarantee that if you get to the end of it without violations, you’ll get your kid back. It depends on whether they think you’ve been successfully treated. Some people pour six-figure sums into hiring lawyers, etc. to fight that system and still lose.

So a friend of mine was wondering, why is it that in prison, it’s considered gay to suck dick, but not to get your dick sucked? I was saying, maybe it has to do with dominance vs. submission. Do you have any theories about that?

I wanted to recommend one of Orwell’s other novels, Keep the Aspidistra Flying. It’s about a guy who is good at coming up with advertising slogans, and can have a comfortable life doing it; but decides to reject commercialism and become a starving artist (a poet, specifically). I just thought the premise of the story was interesting, because normally protagonists are rich rather than poor, since that opens up more possiblities. In fact, the point of the novel is mostly how it sucks being poor because you’re limited even from achieving your creative potential.

Sometime I want to reread another of his novels that was okay, Coming Up for Air, which is about how life as a suburban normie blows. His other novel, A Clergyman’s Daughter, I thought sucked balls. There’s also Burmese Days, but it seems hard to find, so I’ll just assume it must suck as well, or it would be more popular.

Seems like there was something else I was gonna write, but I forget what it was. Ah man, “vacation” starts tomorrow and it’s gonna suck. I wish we could just stay home, but we don’t even have a working oven to bake a turkey in.

Oh, I remember now — another question I had was, why were guys able to be so openly gay at Petersburg, but not at other prisons? Was it because there were so many gang dropouts there who didn’t want to bash any gays lest they get sent to a harder prison? Or was it that gays were outed in sex offender treatment when they were asked by the shrink, “Tell us about your collection of 32,767 images of little boys” for accountability purposes?

Happy Thanksgiving! Your friend,

Nathan

P.S. It’s too bad you didn’t have a jury trial, because now there are no jurors around to take up a collection for your various expenses.

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