USCIS Immigration Officer
2675 Prosperity Avenue
Fairfax, VA 22031
RE: Meshelle Belle Agiobo Embodo (formerly Meshelle Belle Embodo Larson), applicant A208 329 321
USCIS Immigration Officer:
I am writing to you with regard to my ex-wife, Meshelle Belle Agiobo Embodo (formerly Meshelle Belle Embodo Larson). She was granted conditional permanent resident status on 20 December 2016, and since the two-year anniversary is coming up, she may soon be filing an I-751 Petition to Remove Conditions on Residence. I would like to give my account of what happened between us, in hopes that it may help in adjudicating the petition.
Meshelle is a Philippine national who has a college degree and worked in real estate, and as a sales supervisor, and in many other roles while in her home country. She and I met online in November 2014, and began planning our life together. I’ve had a lot of trouble finding jobs, since I’m a convicted felon, so we agreed that she would be the family breadwinner while I would be a “houseband” and take care of the home, the kids, etc. (I had a lot of Facebook chatlogs documenting these conversations, but after she arrived in the U.S., she went on my computer and deleted them.)
We petitioned for a K-1 (fiancee) visa and she arrived in the U.S. in February 2016. We lived together in my parents’ house. She became a permanent resident on 20 December 2016, and with my help, obtained a driver’s license and car. She began working at various jobs, such as babysitting.
She separated from me in April 2017 (which was around the time that my savings from a job I lost in January 2017 ran out). She said the reason was that I hadn’t given her a good enough life. That is, I hadn’t gotten a good job and found a new residence for us to live in, away from my parents. For several months, she continued to drop in occasionally to visit, check my phone to see if I was texting other girls, and ask if I was making progress toward improving my situation.
As time went on, she became more and more convinced that the situation was hopeless, and that we should just get a divorce. In September 2017, she obtained a temporary restraining order, accusing me of sexually abusing her. She did not show up to the permanent restraining order hearing, so the case was dismissed.
She later told me that her actual reason for getting the order was that she didn’t like some of the stuff I had said to her by text message, where I was joking that I should have just kept her locked up in the basement rather than letting her have so much freedom. The context of the text message, though, where she’s talking about sarcasm and rolling her eyes, shows that she knew I was kidding.
She filed for divorce on 18 May 2018, and I filed an answer on 29 May 2018, expressing my suspicions that maybe she had been pregnant. On 1 June 2018, she showed up at my house with hospital documents showing she had tested negative for pregnancy. She threatened to file a police report for rape if I didn’t sign off on the divorce paperwork.
Because I was wanting to reconcile with her, it wasn’t until 17 August 2018 that I began cooperating with the divorce by withdrawing my answer to her complaint. So, she did end up filing a rape report, and the Fauquier County Sheriff’s Department executed a search warrant on my residence on 29 August 2018, seeking evidence to back up her accusations. Apparently that investigation is still open, because I have not been charged with anything, but on the other hand, I have also not received back the property they seized from my house.
I signed for the divorce, and the final decree of divorce was entered on 17 September 2018. So, now the way is clear for her to file an I-751 Petition to Remove Conditions on Residence, by claiming she entered the marriage in good faith. I know now that women routinely lie to get what they want, but I wonder if there comes a point where a woman’s lies call into question the good faith of her intentions.
Meshelle was not honest with me when she said, prior to our petitioning for her visa, that she would be willing to serve as the family’s breadwinner. Actually, when she arrived in the U.S., she expected me to fulfill that role. My mother, as Meshelle’s co-sponsor, was providing Meshelle’s support (as required by the I-864 Affidavit of Support), but that wasn’t enough to satisfy Meshelle; she wanted me to earn money to give her a better life.
She also has not been honest with the police about what happened while we were together. She claims I sexually abused her, when in reality, she is the one who has been violent (e.g. circa 20 January 2017, she started punching me and, after I locked myself in the bedroom, she kicked the door down, breaking the trim; see the attached photos of the damage). During times when she was upset at me, she also has scratched me till I bled. I did not report that to the police, and I would not bring it up now, if she were not accusing me of having raped her.
During the divorce process, she also told me several times that her plans were to, after getting the divorce, return to the Philippines rather than getting her 10-year green card. If she ends up filing an I-751 Petition to Remove Conditions of Residence, that will mean she told yet another lie. But I knew not to believe her, because she has had her heart set on getting a U.S. Passport for a long time, and not wanted to miss the opportunity, which might not come again for her.
If she is going to tell you that she entered this country in good faith, then she should be honest and admit that she told me whatever I wanted to hear, so that I would agree to petition for her visa, and marry her. Then, once she had her green card and didn’t need me anymore, she revealed that what she had told me (that she would be happy being the breadwinner) actually wasn’t true, and that she was going to dump me if I didn’t start being a better provider.
She brings up sometimes that I wrote in the immigration paperwork that I intended to support her for the rest of her life. It is true that I did write that, but I also told her at the time that I might not be able to follow through on that intention, and she said she was okay with that. Then it turned out, after she had her green card, that she actually wasn’t okay with that.
If she is going to be honest with you, she will tell you at the interview that she split up with me over financial issues. She didn’t even bother to continue living with me till it was time for us to file an I-751 Petition to Remove Conditions of Residence; she just left shortly after getting her green card.
If she had been candid with me from the beginning about her intentions and expectations, probably I would never have petitioned for her visa, or married her, and she would still be in the Philippines today. But she chose to be dishonest because that served her purpose; and she broke her promises to me, and probably will lie to your face at the interview about what really happened between us.
She may bring up that my first wife, Augustine, also accused me of rape, and suggest that this makes her own rape allegations more credible. Actually, what happened is that Meshelle saw that the courts were willing to take Augustine’s accusations at face value and do what she wanted; so now she is trying to manipulate the system using the same playbook.
Meshelle tries to make it sound like I physically forced her to do certain sexual stuff, when in reality that never happened (although if I had done that, I wouldn’t feel guilty about it; she was, after all, my wife. She also promised, by the way, before she got here that she was going to submit to whatever I wanted sexually, and she didn’t completely follow through on that either).
I think she probably had in mind from the beginning that she was going to pull a bait-and-switch by saying what she needed to say to get me to help her come to this country and be my wife; and then giving me an ultimatum that I could either be a better provider for her, or she was going to leave. She probably figured, the worst case scenario would be that she would still walk away from the relationship with a green card.
I’m not going to say this is the most blatant case of marriage fraud I’ve ever heard of, but on the other hand, she hasn’t acted totally in good faith either. So it seems like a gray area to me. She was open to the possibility that we might have more than just a sham marriage, if certain conditions were met; but on the other hand, she didn’t disclose from the beginning what her requirements were for staying in the marriage (in fact, she lied when I asked her about those), and I don’t think she would have come over here if she hadn’t been counting on the possibility of divorcing and walking away with a green card if her expectations (which she wasn’t upfront about) weren’t met.
We did live together, and go places together, and do other stuff couples do. Yet, she also didn’t have kids with me, nor did she stay with me even till the two-year mark. I believe she did love me, but it was a conditional love, and she kept the conditions a secret from me (and even denied they existed, when asked) till she had her green card in hand.
In the future, I would not get married unless I had a plan for how I was going to be the breadwinner without help from parents. Some at VisaJourney said this is basic common sense. But, in this feminist era, traditional sex roles have been challenged, to the point that people have claimed that husbands and wives can reverse the traditional roles without causing their marriage to break down. I think my experience with Meshelle is proof that those feminists are wrong, and that we do need to stick to the traditional sex roles. Society does men and women a lot of harm through the bluepill conditioning that runs counter to the folkways and mores that worked so well for thousands of years.
I would also next time look for a virginal girl. I think if Meshelle had been a virginal bride, she probably would’ve loved me more, bonded to me more, and been more accommodating to my desires; and maybe because of that I would’ve felt more motivated to rise to the occasion and find a way to be a better provider. But, that didn’t happen. She gave the best she had to offer to men who came before me, who were out of her league and therefore unwilling to commit to her. By the time I met her, she was more bitter, angry, untrusting, and guarded than she would have been if I’d been her first.
Even if Meshelle does get her 10-year green card, it won’t make her happy. I think at one point, she had potential to be a good wife and mother; but by now, she’s been damaged by successive relationship failures to the point that the potential has been lost. She quits everything when she starts feeling disgruntled, rather than trying to make the best of her situation; as soon as she runs into problems with a boss, or with her husband, she’s out the door. I expect she will probably continue doing that, till there’s no one left to dump.