Also, as her husband, you are obligated morally and legally to support her. Giving her room and board and all her basic necessities was not generosity or holding up a deal. It’s your legal obligation. Also, I don’t know any couple who makes a deal for room and board. You have no idea what a marriage is. You only wanted to use this woman to be a breadwinner while you stay at home and not work as posted in posts from 2014.
Yeah, it may not have been clear enough from the thread that Meshelle said many, many times that she was okay with being the breadwinner. But it often happens that people make judgmental comments, based on erroneous assumptions, in relationship-related threads.
Anyway, if he’s talking about my moral obligation to do what I promised in the affidavit of support, what about all the money that the state took from me, which wasn’t pursuant to any agreement?
Also, if he’s talking about my obligation under natural law to provide for my wife, or saying that it’s the nature of marriage that men trade money for sex, what about the obligation of the woman to present herself as a virgin bride, or to stay with her husband; if we’re going to be traditionalist, aren’t I entitled to have such expectations, in return for making sure Meshelle’s needs were taken care of? Meshelle was, after all, being provided for, so as I told BuiQuang, my end of the “obligation” (both to Meshelle and to the government) was being upheld. Meshelle just left because she didn’t like living with my mom.
Yeah, I think there was an understanding between Meshelle and I that if she wanted to move up in the world and have a nicer place, she was potentially going to need to be the breadwinner because my income wasn’t guaranteed. VisaJourney may not have realized she was aware of the consequences of the felony, and what it would mean. The fact remains, though, that I did everything I was supposed to under both the Affidavit of Support and any other promise I made to Meshelle or her dad.
Of course, Meshelle could rip my family off now by filing a lawsuit, but people say she probably won’t. That’s not typically the Filipina way. She’ll probably just go away and live her life on her own, now that she has that divorce decree in hand. It does suck that, to get into this marriage, I got divorced from Augustine and therefore lost the rights of a widower; but whatever. Nobody cares.
It would’ve been nice if some of Augustine’s vids, etc. had survived, but oh well. Elsewhere:
You both used each other and you lost. Too bad, so sad for you. Obviously, you the victim. You did not plan to hold green card over her head to gain control. You the good guy.
Isn’t that why conditions on residency exist — so that the U.S. citizen spouse has some slight measure of control over whether he gets fucked over? Otherwise, what is the point? The whole idea is to make sure that the marriage isn’t fraudulent; e.g. they might look askance at the situation if, for example, she left as soon as she got her green card, and didn’t claim abuse.
But another question that arises is, why should ANY American man marry a foreign girl, and sign the Affidavit of Support, unless she’s a virginal bride? What assurance does he have that she’s not going to just leave him for another man, or whatever, once she has her green card, and fuck him over? Why WOULDN’T she; if she wasn’t virginal, then how was he in any way special to her? There was this other post:
No, marriage is not about using each other for our own desires. It’s love to share. Share require compromise. U think marriage about using each other then u will never be happy.
If marriage isn’t about a trade of money for sex, then why do wives insist on getting financial support in exchange for putting out, or else feel ripped off? Also, love is about a lack of other options. If she wasn’t a virginal bride, then how does she lack other options, given that there’s nothing particularly special to her about the man she married? These betabuxx marriages tend to be pretty mercenary from the female point of view; she is not loving her betabuxx the way she loved (and still loves) Chad.