Why is the divorce system set up in such a way that if your spouse feels like being a prick, they can refuse to sign, and make you go through the process of having to prove to the court that you’re eligible for a divorce? I would think that would create perverse incentives, where whichever spouse is more of a loser (and therefore is in less of a hurry to try to get a divorce settlement and/or move on to a new relationship) can try to extract various concessions by saying, “If you don’t let me have my way, I’m not signing.”
Alternatively, if a spouse wants to be vindictive, spiteful, bitchy, uncooperative, etc. they can be like, “Yeah, I’m not signing, just because I want to fuck you over by making you have to wait months and pay a bunch of lawyer’s fees to finalize this divorce.” Why should we have a system that empowers them to do that, without imposing any penalty for wasting everyone’s time and money in that way? The courts will not make the defendant pay court costs or anything like that, for refusing to sign, if the court ultimately determines that the plaintiff is in fact eligible for a divorce. This isn’t like a civil suit where, because you didn’t pay your credit card bill, now a judgment is being awarded and you’re liable for the costs of litigation.
I was discussing with my mother today whether I should go ahead and sign for my divorce. Everyone is telling me I should divorce and move on. Of course, I have nobody and nothing to move on to. If I were the kind of guy who’s in high demand in the job market and mate market, I probably wouldn’t be on the receiving end of a divorce suit.
I don’t really believe in divorce; I think that when you marry a woman, she should be your property forever. But, culturally people are not really going to say, “Good for you, for sticking to your guns and refusing to let her go till the bitter end.” They’re going to say that it’s better to set her free, even though as a divorcee, she’s going to be pretty much damaged goods from the perspective of any redpilled man who might be looking for some girl to wife up.
My choice is between a win-lose and a lose-lose situation. I’m on a losing side either way; it’s just a question of whether I want to make life more difficult for my wife too. I actually feel like she broke a lot of promises she made, and that I shouldn’t reward her behavior, since it might encourage others to behave in a similar way; but on the other hand, I’m not really a spiteful person by nature.
So, I’m just going to offer to flip a coin, and let her pick heads or tails; and if she wins, I’ll go ahead and sign. If she loses, she’ll have to go through this process the hard way. That seems fair enough; just let fate decide. Then I’m absolved of responsibility for either fucking her over or providing encouragement for other immigrants to fuck over their U.S. citizen spouses.