The myth of “constructive advice” at VisaJourney

The reality is, any time there’s a discussion board dealing with relationships, there are going to be some people who say, “You’re beyond redemption; you deserve to be incel.” If they don’t say it directly, they’ll say it indirectly, by giving bad advice. For example, they kept saying that I might not be able to enter the Philippines. I actually had no problem. What they meant was that I shouldn’t enter the Philippines, but they couldn’t say so outright because that wouldn’t be constructive.

If they purposefully give you bad advice, or blame you for stuff when the circumstances are ambiguous or subjective, that’s just another way of saying, “I don’t like you and don’t want you to succeed.”

If you take the bad advice and it turns out badly, then they will blame you for being the reason for the failure, since allegedly others could have taken the same advice and it would’ve turned out well. Or they’ll say that the failure of the advice to produce the results you wanted actually proves them correct; e.g. if they say, “Live with your wife in the Philippines for a couple years before coming to the U.S.” and she balks, they’ll say, “See, that proves she doesn’t love you” when in reality no chick really wants to live in the grinding poverty of the Phils. So yeah, in that respect, it’s true that love isn’t the prime motivator of chicks; but it would be the same way with all chicks, since they’re opportunistic in love. AWALT.

But if you don’t take their bad advice, then they blame any failure you have on your unwillingness to take their advice.

Sometimes they’ll give advice that is going to cause you to incur a penalty — e.g. “don’t marry” means you have to stay incel, or “don’t go on an international trip with this girl while she has a domestic violence charge pending, because she might not be allowed back into the country” means you’ll miss out on the trip. They’re acting like they’re just trying to keep you safe, but they’re actually wanting to make you suffer.

What does it mean for a thread to go to shit?

Moderators sometimes talk about how a thread has gone to shit. What I think that usually means is that it’s basically turned into civil disobedience, where everyone is breaking the rules because they see others breaking the rules and realize they can get away with it, because there can’t be a punishment of everyone.

However, over at VisaJourney, what happened was that when the mod closed the thread, she didn’t say the thread had gone to shit; she said that I had been the one who “continually” didn’t take people’s advice. So she blamed it on me, and she said there was nothing more to say. I didn’t really see it that way. If there was nothing left to say, then why close the thread? That suggests there was more to say, but she didn’t want it said.

The PowerTalk possibility

Another way of looking at that VisaJourney convo is that a lot of the responses may have just been a bunch of PowerTalk. We know that foids, once they reach a certain age, are always going to take wives’ side against husbands (because they want to attract beta men to wife them up, or to play the role of orbiters to potentially wife them up later), and that beta men will play the white knight by taking wives’ side in order to attract foids who are looking for a beta to wife them up. So, that could’ve been what was going on.

Why did they cut short the convo? Because StraightTalk would’ve overcome PowerTalk, if the convo had been allowed to continue. (If the convo continues, then eventually you get to the bottom of what’s going on, unless the convo has really gone to shit in a way that’s just going to keep escalating; but why would that be the case?)

Anyway, it’s just another reason to hate them. And the moderator might say, “The purpose of VisaJourney is to give advice about the visa process, not debate relationship issues” but the majority of the convo was people trying to shame me over relationship issues rather than give advice about the visa process, so that’s a double standard.

Foids admit they feel more traumatized when a beta rapes them than when Chad rapes them

I was reading this brochure about marital rape:

Studies indicate that women are especially traumatized by a rape at the hands of a spouse. They are violated by someone with whom they share their lives, homes, and possibly children. In addition to violation of their bodies, they are faced with a betrayal of trust and intimacy. . . . . Marital rape victims suffer long-lasting physical and psychological injuries that are as severe or more severe than victims of stranger rape experience. Effects include: humiliation

What’s probably going on there is twofold. First, the whole point of why a foid got married was so that, after she gave the best years of her life to Chad, she could be in a position to trade the minimum amount of sex possible to a betabuxx (i.e. as little as she can get by with) for the maximum amount of money (since she’s going to own half of everything he has). Maybe at some point she can even get away with having a dead bedroom at home while she cheats with Chad on the side, because her hubby feels obligated to stay with her for the good of the kids. But, if he rapes her, then he’s depriving her of what she feels entitled to, which is the privilege of saving her body only for Chad.

Think about it — why would it be more “humiliating” to be raped by a husband than to be raped by some random black dude in an alley? Probably because the husband is a beta, but Tyrone is a sexy hunk with a satisfying BBC. So even if he forces her into a submissive stance and fucks her up the ass and then shoves it down her throat, that isn’t as humiliating as when her husband keeps begging her for sex as though he has any right to ask for such a thing, and then she finally acquiesces and feels raped later because she finds betas repulsive. Foids are used to thinking of themselves as higher up in the socio-sexual hierarchy than betas, so when a beta (or, god forbid, a beta) even looks at her sexually, she feels degraded and violated.

Second, during a divorce, foids feel the need to exaggerate how traumatized they were by whatever their husband allegedly did, so they can make a case for why it was necessary and right of them to break up the family. When they get raped by some random Tyrone, there’s not really any need to exaggerate the trauma, because what would be the point? He’s probably broke and at any rate, since they’re not married, she can’t divorce him and use the rape as a pretext to loot him of everything he has.

One of the reasons divorced MGTOWs are often so bitter is that they found out the hard way that, after they wifed up a girl, they actually got treated worse by society than if they had only fornicated with her. Foids view husbands as inherently overbearing and oppressive, because a husband wants to monopolize her holes. Therefore, society is always trying to demoralize husbands and take them down a peg by showing them that their status is nothing special; on the contrary, a husband is culturally and sometimes legally viewed as having responsibilities that a boyfriend doesn’t, yet he has no rights that a boyfriend doesn’t have.

I hear a lot of incels say, “I just want a nice girl to wife up.” I can understand the desire to do that, if we lived in some society where men actually had authority over their wives. But why desire to be a husband, in our current society? That just screams either, “I’M A CHUMP” or “I’M A BETA” or both. Chad would say to her, “You’re lucky I even give you the privilege of jumping on my cock; don’t make me laugh by thinking out loud that you can give me some ultimatum that will get me to MARRY you. Hahahahaha, too late, I’m already laughing.”

Logically, a girl should have every reason to trust that a beta is not going to dump her. After all, what options would he have if he did? The only man she needs to lock down through marriage is a Chad, since he does in fact have many other girls he could dump her for. Yet a girl has no way of locking down Chad, because Chad has too many competing girls who DON’T demand marriage in exchange for sex.

So the only time marriage happens is when it’s actually the girl, rather than the guy, who is untrustworthy. She wants to lock down a beta so that she can then abuse him by being unaffectionate, disloyal, etc. while still taking his money. And she wants to be able to play the victim by saying, “As my husband, he had all the power in the relationship” even though a modern husband has zero power, or less than zero power, in a relationship. Society is so eager to put husbands in their place and show them that their marriage gives them no authority to boss around their wife, that they go way in the opposite direction, of giving the wife all the leverage she could possibly want to fuck over her husband completely by claiming domestic abuse. This would be a non-issue if they lived separately rather than under the same roof, where she can claim he’s engaging in all sorts of domineering behavior that she has to put up with because they live together in a place that he pays the mortgage on.

Ironically, the more he fulfills his marital responsibility to take care of her and provide for her, the more she can claim that he’s subjecting her to financial abuse because she’s dependent on his money rather than having her own money. (The remedy, of course, is for a court to then forcibly transfer his wealth over to her, to supposedly even the scales of power.) Yet, on the other hand, if she does have her own job, then maybe she’s going to be more successful in her career (since so many people want to help a foid climb the ladder these days), and then she’ll despise her husband for that reason. So no matter what, he loses.

I see people get excited, “I’VE ASCENDED!” yet that often just means moving from one circle of hell to another. Even Chad gets cheated on, because these days girls feel entitled to multiple Chads. Another Chad is just a Tinder swipe away, and already been banged out by so many that even any one particular Chad doesn’t seem all that special anymore. She’s gone from comparing betas unfavorably to Chad, to comparing each new Chad to other Chads she’s been with, and trying to figure out which is the true alpha Chad. Yet it gets to a point where she realizes, she likes a lot of traits from many different Chads, so really what she needs is a composite Chad who’s a mixture of all the special characteristics she liked in the various Chads she fucked over the years. But since she can’t have that, to keep enjoying what each Chad has to offer, she’ll just keep needing to bang ALL those Chads, which isn’t hard to do since she’s still connected to them on social media.

All you can really do is just get high, masturbate, play vidya, browse the Internet, and know that you were going to lose no matter what you did.

Even if you ascend, if she’s a non-virgin, she’s probably not going to indulge your fetishes

If you get with a virgin, you can mold her to be your ideal sex partner. During the pair-bonding, she will associate the sexual acts you introduce her to with the positive feelings she has when she’s with you, of love, pleasure, etc. Because she’s never had her heart broken, she’ll be generous with her body and give it to you fully, obeying all of your wishes cheerfully, because she has no bitterness that would make her think, “Why should I do anything to please a man; last time I did that, I got dumped.”

If she’s been with Chad, though, he will have already molded her to suit HIS preferences. She will have learned to enjoy the way HE liked to fuck her, and because he’s a man who was way out of her league, that in her mind will always stand out as her peak sexual experience. If you want her to do anything different than what he did with her, she’ll regard that as a lesser experience and maybe not even want to cooperate. In her mind, “Chad’s way is the best way” and your way is inferior.

When you make yourself vulnerable to her by revealing what you desire to do with her, and she turns you down and says she wants to do it a different way (i.e. Chad’s way), even though you’re putting your dick in a pussy, you’re still going to feel rejected and unloved. And in fact, even if you try to reverse the masculine and feminine roles by letting her take the lead, so that you’re catering to her desires and trying to mimic how Chad used to fuck her, it’s never going to be quite the same for her, and therefore she’ll always view you as lacking as well.

It will be so bad that you will wish you never fucked that girl, because of the demoralization the memories of her treating you that way will inflict on you. Seriously, you will regret adding that notch to your belt, because of the psychological trauma that went with it. If you make the mistake of wifing up such a girl, then theoretically you sentence yourself to a lifetime of mediocre, tepid sex; but in reality you probably won’t have to deal with her all that long because most marriages to roasties end in divorce anyway.

A girl’s youth and virginity are her most important characteristics, even more so than attractiveness, because even if she’s so ugly you’re ashamed to be seen with her, what really matters the most is that when you’re in the bedroom together, she does what you want, and isn’t comparing you unfavorably to memories of Chad.

Some other thoughts on Final Fantasy

I’ve now beaten Final Fantasy twice, once using the fighter-fighter-fighter-fighter party, and once using the blackbelt-blackbelt-thief-thief party. Some thoughts:

  • Repeatedly defeating the Eye guarding the Floater chest in the Ice cave is an underrated way of grinding your way to a level-up. It beats the Hall of Giants and the Power Peninsula. The only scary part is that you might encounter some Sorcerers or other lethal creatures on your way out.
  • The Thief seems like an overrated character. Given his many mediocrities, he seems similar to a Red Mage, in that he’ll leave you frustrated that he can’t be as good as a Fighter, Black Mage, etc.
  • You never really get to a point of having total dominance over creatures like Frost Wolves, because they can usually use their numerical advantage to get off some Frost spells before you have a chance to wipe them out with a FIR2 or FIR3 spell.
  • Chaos doesn’t seem like that hard of a foe. The second Kraken is actually more dangerous, because each physical attack he makes will usually wipe out one of your guys. Survival against him is mostly a matter of luck.
  • The only dungeon where running out of resources is a major problem is the Template of Fiends Past. The last time, when I got toward the end, I said “Fuck the Masmune” and went straight toward Tiamat and Chaos, since I was out of heal potions and didn’t have any heal spells.

The “warnings not to marry”

So over at VisaJourney, they wrote:

perhaps you should have taken everyone elses advice. i guess she was really in love with you and didnt care at all about the greencard:/


You aren’t taking in any of the advise given, but keep going back to statistics which have nothing to do with you.


You don’t know what you are doing. You were warned not to marry her. You don’t have a clue.


Exactly, you signed up for this even after everyone warned you not to marry her.


Why should anyone feel sorry for you? You didn’t get enough warnings not to marry?


The same people telling you to contest restraining order are same one who told u not to marry in 2014. Maybe, they smart and know things better than u.

(By the way, I don’t know that it was the same individuals giving both advice; the two threads mostly had different participants.) Also:

Bring an immigrant wife to US and expect her to go to work or start a business to support you while you no work is lack common sense. People warned you and you ignored them.


I see people tell u not to marry her.


~~After review of this thread it will remain locked. Members have continually given you advice you have ignored there is nothing alse that can be said that hasn’t. This thread is not to be restarted in any form.~~

The thing is, the advice from 2014 didn’t really impart any red pill knowledge or wisdom. They said nothing about the alpha fuxx/beta buxx feminine imperative (which means that a girl is unlikely to stay with you just because she loves your personality, without you giving her money, unless you’re Chad), for instance, or how non-virgins tend to be more disloyal, or how there’s no such thing as relationship equity.

The nonexistence of relationship equity means that you need to have ongoing relevance

When men get criticized harshly on VisaJourney, it’s usually because they weren’t devoting themselves fully to putting a woman’s interests first, or they were demanding something in return for what they had done or, worse, what they had done in the past. At the very least, to get ANY respect from women, men need to have ongoing relevance — they need to be contributing something in the present. A woman’s interest in a non-Chad isn’t even about “what have you done for me lately”; it’s about “what are you going to do for me now and in the future?”

By the way, back in 2014 they weren’t really “warning me not to marry”

If you look at the posts, they were expressing some doubts, suggestions, etc. but they didn’t straight-up warn me not to marry. They were just saying there was some stuff to consider, and some possibilities that might be worth exploring.